I think in the real world those of us that are at our core forthright, honest and intense are a minuscule percentage. And if you fit that description, I’m so blessed you found me! Let’s learn to walk our walk, with Love and Truth!
#intenseme
#candorismyfaction
#letsbereal
#discernment
#kindergentlerme
#dontbeleiveinsweeping
#truthwithoutoloveisbrutality
#lovewithouttruthishypocrisy
My intensity and yearning after Truth in all situations and at all times has ostracized me and caused me to lose relationships since I was a teen.
My best childhood friends must have been kindred spirits or perhaps children are just naturally more candid and genuine.
Over the years I have grown and matured some and gathered gentleness missing in my earlier years. It is a continual journey learning to walk with Truth and Love.
It is still incredibly difficult for me to not speak up in situations where:
-lack of honesty is happening
-hypocrisy is making itself known
-incongruentsy is at play
-reality is being avoided with vigor
-fakeness is abounding
-folks want to debate everything including common definitions
-resolving issues is being vigorously avoided
-subterfuge
-inauthenticity
When love isn’t the bottom line. When grace does not abound. When loyalty is not mutual.
In addition, I now realize all of the above are
Unwise choices I have made in dealing with the above behaviors:
-spoken up
-tried to keep the conversation real, truthful and genuine
-grown frustrated
-pointed out the falseness
-reached my limit
-called out the excuses
-spoke clearly, strongly, intensely
-been transparent
-admitted my errors and flaws to those I have made uncomfortable
-grown impatient
-apologized
-repented of hurting those I called out
Not willing to sweep conflicts under the rug or pretend they didn’t happen.
Totally willing to learn to walk in truth and love.
Done casting my pearls.
Now some of the above, I am sure you can clearly see why I call these reactions on my part unwise. You might wonder why I have categorized some of the others as less than wise. And probably the last three have a measure of wisdom in them – despite the lack of acceptance.
What I learned through being shunned; most people can’t face the level of transparency I bring to the table. Specifically, they are few and far between,
Conversely, I am most likely to be too intense with those I know well and love. Those I think/thought love me. I have learned the lesson that loyalty is an extremely rare and precious gift.
At the same time, the kinder, gentler me going forth is striving to not put pressure on others to be genuine or honest – that’s between you and YHVH. Frankly, it is none of my business and I am sorrowful for how prideful I have been to not understand that being real and genuine can’t break down defenses of others. I don’t know the pain or difficulties that have created such personalities and hearts. First and foremost, my job is to love, not call out hypocrisy. My job is to shower grace on the graceless and love on those that don’t know how to love. My job is grace and love.
No more casting pearls…
However, I don’t think my call is to be loyal to those who are not loyal. Therefore, for my spiritual growth and well being, I’m going to stick with others that are
By being real with those that don’t want real, I have cast my pearls unwisely.
Learning not to cast my pearls where they don’t belong.
WOW it’s like you are writing exactly how I am!!! I have SUCH a hard time not calling someone out when they are being a hypocrite. Or if I know someone is lying. I will usually say something and ask them over and over like WHY did you say this, I know you are lying, to the point they get upset and stop talking to me, hah. But I feel like I can’t control myself, it’s like I’m a judge in a court and I have to put others in their place… it’s not a pleasant trait of mine, but I am working on it.
Oh, it so nice to hear from someone that can relate!! I am convinced this is a part of my spiritual gifting – but I have to use it only in conjunction with the Holy Spirit, otherwise, people just see me as mean.