The skill of admitting when
your’e wrong is not easily acquired. Learn to take responsibility and gain confidence.
Why is it so hard?
You may think it is the most difficult thing to do.
Embarrassing. Frustrating. No fun at all.
However, like any good habit, once we choose it over and over and over again, we get to a point where the fear is gone and we just have a beneficial habit. Possibly even an automatized habit!
While it may feel insurmountably uncomfortable initially, given enough experience at the skill of admitting when you are wrong and you will wonder what the big deal was. After all, can you find anyone (outside of the Messiah) that hasn’t messed up, sinned, hurt someone or otherwise done something stupid?
Therefore, not only are you in a massive group, absolutely everyone in it knows the pain of being wrong. Well, maybe the most self-absorbed don’t. But the rest of us sure do.
Why is blame a more natural reaction than admitting when you are wrong?
For some of us, blaming others is a knee-jerk reaction. Why is it so much easier to point fingers?
When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdomProverbs 11:2
Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud.Proverbs 16:19
Humility can be terrifying:
…none of us can be sure that the way we tell our own stories is the most truthful narrative. We may remain caught in traps of self-deception, and others may have a perspective on our lives that we lack.Embodying Forgiveness by L. Gregory Jones, p.172
Why Does Admitting When I am Wrong Matter?
When we admit that we are wrong, that we have actually made a mistake, we state out loud the problem that we have created and we take responsibility for it. Both of these things make it less likely that we will make that mistake next time. Articulating it helps us define what actually went wrong, and taking responsibility motivates us to do better next time.Sarah Winfrey, Change Your Life by Learning How to Admit You’re Wrong
Pride is the Enemy of Humility
So if pride is the enemy of humility and God hates pride (1 Peter 5:5) we need to take our pride pretty seriously, right?
We can start cleaning pride out of our minds and hearts but creating a habit of readily admitting when we are wrong.
Still not convinced its important to deal in humility when you are wrong? Check out Sam Storm’s post How Pride Poisons the Soul. He makes an excellent study that clearly shows envy, bitterness, strife, deceit, hypocrisy, slander, and greed all have their evil root in pride.
Pride poisons the soul. Humility is a balm. Humility is something we need to strive with all we have for. Check out how many, many amazing verses talk about the gravity and goodness of humility. Bible verses on Humility.
What about narcissists and their ilk? You will never find them admitting when they are wrong.
By definition admitting when they are wrong and taking responsibility is almost impossible for the narcissistic. Protect yourself and your loved ones the best you can. These sorts of personalities can be very charming, but in the end, leave their victims in pain.
Sometimes folks who have been rejected put up a wall to avoid being hurt any further. This is a sad, but understandable mistake. If you feel yourself doing that, fight past it.
4 thoughts on “Admitting When You are Wrong, The Skill of Humility”
It really is scary to admit when you are wrong. Especially if you are in really deep and then realize that you are the one in the wrong. But it is such a great relief to be able to end an argument or resolve a situation when you admit it. I have been working on my stubbornness and really trying to admit to the things I do wrong and say wrong. It has made all of my relationships so much easier and happier.
Wow, good for you Justine! That is some serious and intense work you are doing. I think it is easier to accept other’s flaws also, once we have a better grip on our own. Blessings.
I don’t think some people realize how just admitting they are wrong can change the person they hurt. For instance, I have a friend who really hurt my feelings, but she won’t admit she was wrong. It’s very hard for me to accept that she truly believes she did not wrong. If she would apologize and admit she was not nice, I would feel better about the situation. Kinda got the feeling she is leaning towards the mentality of a narcissist, sad to say. But then, maybe it will be easier for me to let her go?
It really is hard for many to admit they are wrong. To apologize. Maybe even to admit any culpability to themselves.
It is definitely so much easier to forgive and move past the situation with those willing to take responsibility for their words and actions. It builds trust, don’t you think when you know the other person is capable of admitting when wrong?