A Quick & Simple Path to Thrive not just survive! Thriving through Emotional Pain is Possible.
Key #1 Your Trauma is Valid, Choose to Acknowledge This
First, the number one key to thriving through emotional pain is; there will be those who tell you it was no big deal, just to let it go. Move on. Don’t worry about it. Yeah. Not helpful. If we could, I guarantee you we would!
There is a lot to deal with after emotional trauma. Here at Blessed Reject, we concentrate primarily on overcoming the emotional pain and trauma of severe rejection and betrayal. But whatever the emotional trauma you have endured, the keys to thriving are going to look similar.
“He heals the broken-hearted and binds their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3
Like an addiction, the first key to thriving through your pain is acknowledging it. Besides, you did not make this up. You are genuinely hurting. Please be patient with yourself.
Next, if you are genuinely concerned that what you are going through is not emotional trauma, seek some trusted counsel. You can even comment here, and we can talk you through it.
Sometimes, when we own some guilt or responsibility for what we have been through, we think that negates our right to be traumatized. However, it just doesn’t work like that. Emotional trauma is not something you choose or don’t choose. Deciding you do not have the right to claim it does not magically make it go away.
Name it and claim it! And only then can you begin to deal with it and begin the journey to thriving through your hurt.
Key #2 You Need to Be Patient with Yourself & Process Your Emotional Trauma & Pain
Key number two, to thriving through emotional pain: I get it, you are sick and tired of the pain and want to move on. You feel overwhelmed and sad and maybe depressed. Getting out of bed may seem difficult.
Here is where you need to accept yourself and your need to heal. You would not be frustrated with yourself if you had a severe physical injury. Maybe frustrated with the injury, but you’d recognize injury takes time to heal.
“When we lose someone or something we love, or a stressful event breaks apart our sense of security, we can begin to view our environment and those around us as dangerous. Even if a certain event doesn’t cause us any physical harm, being in a state of fear can still cause us to become traumatized.”
Nirmala Raniga, 5 Simple Step to Healing from Emotional Trauma
Accept your responses for what they are – just your response, not who you are. Give yourself the gift of patience and allow yourself the time to heal and process.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Romans 12:12
By choosing to be patient with yourself, you will find yourself with some lovely moments of growth and understanding. Clarity will come in flashes and processing will begin. Because you are choosing to allow yourself to heal. Processing is key to thriving even through the hurt.
#3 Choose Life, Choose Healing
Key number three to thriving through emotional pain; as you process, you will find an understanding that may have eluded you in the initial shock and confusion of what you went through.
As you make the choice to acknowledge your pain is real, to be patient with yourself, and to allow processing for your situation you will also need to choose life. To look past the dark skies, the unkind words, the knife wound in your back, and recognize a better day is ahead.
“Thriving isn’t easy to maintain. It takes work. And it takes dedication to yourself. It takes a mindset of always moving forward, bettering yourself, challenging yourself, falling down and getting back up again, failing but continuing and progressing.”
Allessandra Braun, 10 Action Steps for Big Change
A day when the wounds will have healed and you will be wiser in your choices for friendships and relationships. You will learn to have healthy boundaries and discernment.
“Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13
You will be thriving, even through the emotional pain and trauma. Thriving because you are growing and maturing and know you will never be the same again. You will be better than ever.
#4 Embracing Self: Self-Care, Self-Discipline, Self-Introspection
Key number four to thriving through emotional pain; embracing self. Yep, if it has a self in front of it, there is a good chance you need to embrace it!
During times of deep hurt and pain, the last person we want to hang out with is ourselves. You often go to great lengths to avoid yourself. But, if you are looking to thrive through your pain, you’ve got to embrace yourself.
Self-care is first. This is going to involve doing some things you may have previously thought of as selfish or shallow or just plain unnecessary. I get that. But in order to thrive and reach better than ever, you need to care for yourself in many different ways. You’ve heard the drill. You know what I talking about. Sleep, healthy eating, movement. Spa care even from home. Time in the Word and in prayer is the most important form of self-care.
Choosing to indulge in self-care is going to require some self-discipline. And some introspection and possibly some rearranging of your current priorities.
Self-introspection is going to lead us into this last key to thriving through emotional pain.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness”
1 John 1:3
#5 Forgiveness & Repentance -ugh
Key number five to thriving through the emotional pain- yeah, not fun. Accordingly, it is not easy. Hence, sometimes you think you have forgiven, then you realize you have not. Likewise, when you are all alone in this because the other party(s) are unable or unwilling to acknowledge their part, wow it’s incredibly difficult.
Right, so how does this very overwhelming thing of forgiving (and acknowledging any part I had) help me thrive? It makes me nuts, not thrive!
Without a doubt, there is joy here, friends. There truly is. Consequently, once you grasp hold of that joy, you will be determined not to let go. Besides, forgiveness is a lifestyle, not a one-time event. Forgiveness is a gift of faith that Jesus/Yeshua asks you to offer up.
“Let all that you do be done in love.:
1 Corinthians 16:3
Lastly, forgiveness is the ultimate act of allowing God to be our God. Letting Him be the real master of our life and allowing yourself to rest in Him and let Him deal with your offender. In the end, it is hands-off, it’s all His now.
Finally, you may have to take this moment by moment, but then maybe it will be hour by hour. Next thing you know day by day and so on.
While I relate to all your points, patience and self-care stood out to me. Because we live in a culture with a hurried pace, that same quick results thinking spills over into so many other areas of our life. Lord, help us with patience in healing from our traumas as we trust You in the process. Amen.
Wow Karen, that is so insightful, thank you for sharing that.