How to Stop Apologizing & Saying Sorry

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It is rare to hear a confident woman apologize repeatedly. A truly confident woman will apologize when it is called for, but not dwell on it. She is content in her self-worth while recognizing her imperfections are real.

What’s the big deal about apologizing too much? My Mama raised me like this!

Well, if it is a chronic pattern, you are hurting your confidence. You are walking around announcing you feel guilty and weak. That you don’t believe you are doing your best. 

Additionally, apologizing is the biggest obstacle there is in maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. Your limit becomes meaningless if you apologize for it.

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You have worth. You are God’s creation. You are His beloved. Learn now how to stop apologizing and saying sorry.

I have suffered from the plague of over apologizing and saying sorry since I was a small child. Chronically, almost continually apologizing. I was not content or confident in my self-worth.

There is a good middle ground to aim at – genuine apologies when we bear responsibility for something negative is essential.  

Civilized society requires manners. Politeness and general consideration for others. Where these social conventions cease to thrive, we see ugly and pain-filled chaos.  

However, for some of us, it becomes a self-defeating habit that perpetuates itself, ofter to the point of apologizing for apologizing!

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If you want to work on this habit – I suggest you start with training yourself to say ‘excuse me’ instead of sorry in situations where you have done nothing wrong. Excuse me is more authentic many times and does not tear ourselves down. If ‘excuse me’ is more accurate – work on using it. This is an excellent first step in how to apologize and stop saying sorry.

Moreover, there will be times that apologizing when you have done nothing wrong is the peaceable choice and can diffuse a volatile situation.

We do not, however, want to disempower ourselves by giving out the vibe that someone else has more right to be in aisle then we do! This is why we need to learn how to stop apologizing and saying sorry!

It takes awareness, introspection, and time to really embrace a new way of responding. We need to be willing to dig deep and get real with ourselves first and foremost. To recognize we have this pattern or habit and consider why and where it comes from.

I no way am I promoting not taking responsibility when we are to blame. Quite the opposite.

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How to Stop Saying Sorry & Apologizing

Below is the plan I am using to change this ever so annoying habit in myself.

How to Stop Apologizing and Saying Sorry

  • Observe yourself when you say it (sorry).
  • Don’t beat yourself up about it.
  • Simply notice at first.
  • Be a scientist of yourself and ask yourself what you are feeling when it pops out of your mouth!
  • When you feel ready, begin using self-control to stop the words from coming out. 
  • But don’t stop whatever feeling is accompanying the moment. Let yourself feel it.

The closer you come to an understanding of yourself and this habit of apologizing and saying sorry, the easier it will be to leave it in the dust with confidence.

Freedom from this self-defeating habit is worth the effort you must put forth.

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2 thoughts on “How to Stop Apologizing & Saying Sorry”

  1. I am very guilty of apologizing even when I have nothing to say I’m sorry for. This post reminds me that I actually teach others how to respond to me when I engage in self-defeating behavior such as this. Thanks for the tips.

    • Yeah, I believe there are quite a few of us that have this habit – but be aware of it and choosing to work on it is a great place to start!


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