Boundaries can go a long way in helping others understand how their behavior affects others. Boundaries and personal responsibility go together. Something you’ll notice when you’re setting boundaries for yourself and others is that limitations can easily make people uncomfortable. In many ways, folks have become used to no real resistance when it comes to rudeness, unkindness, or other hurtful behavior.
Please note that this article contains affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure at the bottom of the page.
Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your LifeBoundaries for Leaders: Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge
How to Have That Difficult Conversation: Gaining the Skills for Honest and Meaningful Communication
When you set boundaries and enforce them, it forces the other person to take responsibility for their behavior. Or at the least, consider their actions, words, and deeds. Dealing with boundaries and accepting personal responsibility is something that many people are not used to. This can feel new and scary for them, so likely it will be off-putting in their minds.
Are Boundaries too Aggressive?
This is one of the reasons that boundaries can come off as aggressive at first. While you’re simply installing defensive boundaries, others can take it as a personal threat. They may accuse you of unkindness and judgementalism. Or being thin-skinned. Boundaries and personal responsibility are consequences – we have to acknowledge (at least to ourselves) and, hopefully, take actual responsibility for thinking about what we say and do before we take action.
“There have been many times in my life that I’ve had to establish proper boundaries with those who continued to break my trust or violated the relationship.”
Flourishing Today
As uncomfortable as this may be for others, you can rest assured that you bear no responsibility for whether they embrace the lesson. Or if they begin to act and treat people with respect. You have simply decided you are done with their malevolent ways.
Taking responsibility for our behavior means that we can no longer just do things mindlessly.
We will do well to take other people’s feelings and desires into account. This is a normal expectation for someone to have, and it’s in no way difficult once we embrace the lesson of love and acceptance for all God’s children. It doesn’t matter what I think of you – or you think of me, let’s decide to be kind and treat one another with respect.
It’s very seldom that others have boundaries that you would accidentally cross when being respectful, polite, and kind. However, if you do, apologize and keep that in mind. These boundaries aren’t just for others to be responsible, though.
Boundaries and My Personal Responsibility
Indeed, some boundaries force you to take responsibility and act in a certain way that may benefit you and help you towards success. In addition, it may help others, also. For example, if you set boundaries on yourself for finances, you’re holding yourself accountable for being responsible. No doubt, when it comes to the money you’re spending and how you’re spending it, you will be glad.
It can be uncomfortable for you to hold yourself responsible, but it needs to be done. In the short term, others will be uncomfortable with having to be accountable like this. However, it’s better in the long run for everyone.
Healthy Boundaries & Personal Responsibility
By being more conscious and willing to think about what we’re doing, everyone will be able to communicate and interact with you more satisfyingly. Those who refuse to adapt will be up against healthy boundaries. Consequently, everyone else will be a lot happier with one another since this kind of behavior transfers from person to person.
Please note that this article contains affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure at the bottom of the page.
Boundaries are definitely important. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Anthea!
I’m trying to learn how to set healthy boundaries. I’m good at it in my work life, but not my personal life. Thanks.
I get that Sabrina – somehow, on a personal level we often have our walls so far down that we fail to recognize our soul is being trampled until it is too late.
Establishing boundaries with those you’ve let have free rein over you can be difficult, but it’s well worth the time and effort! Thanks for highlighting the positivity of boundaries!
So true Kari! It is difficult but so freeing and empowering once established.
Great article clearly defining boundaries. Such an important topic for anyone with any kind of relationships! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Sunshyne! It really is so important! I wish I had understood boundaries sooner!
Boundaries! My Favorite subject these days. This is something that took me years to put in place but now I am so glad that I have learned how to set healthy boundaries.
Oh me too Valerie! And I agree, so great to finally understand the empowerment they bring!
I just read the Boundaries book and it gave me amazing healing and peace! I’m so glad you are sharing this with others.
That’s wonderful Valerie! It really helped me also! It makes so much sense, once we understand it!