Be Gracious with Forgiveness, Grace, and Mercy

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My story is one of overcoming betrayal and rejection. It (so far) is not one of reconciliation or restoration with our accusers. And you know what? I’m okay with that. Not just okay, but deeply at peace and resting in my Creator. He alone changes hearts and minds. His timing is always best (yes, even when I am so very sure I know better!).

Please note that this article contains affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure at the bottom of the page.

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Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same things. Forgiveness is something that happens in my heart and I desire no revenge or retribution or repayment for the pain others have caused my loved ones and myself. I can walk, talk and hang out with my accusers because I have forgiven. I can smile.

But – do not allow them to bully you into giving your heart to batter again. Live within your boundaries now. Healthy, lovely, Biblical boundaries. Boundaries don’t make you unforgiving. Boundaries actually give you the strength to forgive.

Graciousness is Strength and Love

Moreover, we can exude graciousness, you can love your accusers and not love what they did. Indeed, we can hate sin and love people with our whole hearts.

“God is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abundant in lovingkindness.”

Psalm 103:8

Being Gracious in the Face of Mob Mentality

Have you ever been the focus of a mob mentality? Where they talk and talk and talk about you ad nauseam, they dissect your personality and flaws and pat themselves on their backs for not being like you?

And then they commence their campaign to convince you and your loved ones of your flaws and their rightness? They do their utmost to create a whipping boy in you. Indeed, they almost gleefully seek to ruin you.

Here’s the kicker – my accusers don’t know how to use a thesaurus and all use the same language to accuse and impale me. At the same time defending their ‘group think’ as prayerful and righteous. Ugh. Their gossip as good. Bleh.

I feel like shouting; “Have you read the Bible folks? Do you recognize that you are piling up for yourselves what you are dishing out?”

When all they can do is condemn and blame and accuse – they are so far from righteous – seriously.

Forgiveness, Grace & Mercy; Enough with the Condemnation Already

My family has endured two years of condemnation. Two years of our accuser’s self-righteous excuses, blame, and accusations.

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And then come the demands that we accept how very right their actions were. Yes – seriously demands, with more condemnation, lectures, and platitudes.

Interestingly, it hit me today. They are offended by our forgiveness. They can’t stand our graciousness.

Is Graciousness – forgiveness, grace, and mercy?

Forgiveness includes both grace and mercy. The Greek word usually translated as graciousness “epieikes” means “tolerance” or “forbearance”. Sometimes it is translated as gentleness. Graciousness.

“It is the opposite of being unduly rigorous.”

Total Forgiveness, R.T .Kendall

Mercy is what we are called to. And mercy through Him can make us gracious. Forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

“Be merciful, as your Father is merciful.”

Luke 6:36

Confidence with Your Messiah Allows us to Forgive Others

Messiah showers us with forgiveness, grace, and mercy. Almost like it is His pleasure to do so. And only when we are confident in who we are in Him can we extend this forgiveness, grace, and mercy to our accusers.

Don’t let anyone’s forgiveness be a thorn in your side. Moreover, truly think about that. If being seen as wise or right is super important to you and you feel bitterness towards someone because they see you as neither – that’s okay. Let it go. It is not their assurance you should be after.

Don’t spend any more time asking them to let go of a condemning spirit towards you. If they don’t show understanding, their actions have given you your answer loud and clear.

If you are dealing with someone full or condemnation and lack of willingness to show understanding – run. Yikes. You don’t want to be anywhere near their shoes!

Messiah wants to bless you with forgiveness, grace, and mercy, not condemn you.

Without a doubt, that is what graciousness is about. If your heart is stuck in condemnation, blaming and self-righteousness, you are in a sad, sad place. Something so much better is just waiting for you! All you have to do is receive His gift. His gift of forgiveness, grace, and mercy. No matter who shows it to you, don’t be offended.

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“Our sins and failures do not move the Lord to give up on us or to cast us out of the kingdom, for we are secure in Christ. Secure in Christ, we live a life of faith and repentance, continually serving the Lord and putting sin to death.”


What to do While They Spend Time Talking Trash about You

  • Know you are in good company. (don’t believe me? check out the folks in the Bible)
  • Grow in Him
  • Mature in Him
  • Spend time with Him
  • Pray for them
  • Love them
  • Be friendly and gracious unto your accusers

” And therefore will God wait, that He may be gracious unto you; and therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you: for YHVH is a God of justice; blessed are all they that wait for Him.”

Isaiah 30:18

Please note that this article contains affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure at the bottom of the page.

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