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17 Essentials to Overcoming Tips for Thriving

No hope? Not sure how to keep functioning?
Read these important tips to grow and thrive.

Essentials to overcoming loss, rejection and/or betrayal are several. For a more thorough understanding of the concepts and ideas I set forth here, please see A Powerful Path Overcoming.


#1 The most essential element to overcoming may sound simple: Keep Breathing

Of course, this is simpler said than done. But if you are ready to overcome, this is the first commitment to make.

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of LessEssential: Essays by The Minimalists


Choose life, choose breath. In and out. All-day long.
Then wake up tomorrow and do it again.
This is essential to overcoming – self-care now.

If this seems dramatic and over the top to you, it is possible you have not had the trauma of dealing with sudden or severe loss, rejection, or betrayal.

Essential to overcoming emotional pain is the will to live and breathe.

Additionally, the art of breathing is also a good area to learn more about.

The Oxygen Advantage: Simple, Scientifically Proven Breathing Techniques to Help You Become Healthier, Slimmer, Faster, and FitterThe Breathing Book: Good Health and Vitality Through Essential Breath WorkBreathing: The Master Key to Self Healing


#2 Give Yourself the Gift of Compassion

This is essential to thriving: do not, I repeat, do not beat yourself up.

No doubt, your situation has already left you feeling like you were hit by a truck, right? I’m not saying you bear no responsibility for what has happened.

I am saying you need Grace, right now, from yourself. Yeah, you’re human. Self Compassion and Grace are necessary elements to overcoming and thriving.

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to YourselfThe Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and ThriveThe Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions


#3 Physical Self Care – Now

Likewise, self-care for your body is important. Are you in a pit, not sure how it is possible to keep going? Are you flat or devoid of all emotions or crying buckets?

If you are beyond overwhelmed, in shock, or otherwise suffering you must embrace the essential element of Extreme Self Care now.

Physical self-care is the first element. I’m not a medical professional and won’t attempt to advise on physical health. However, it can be much harder to overcome and thrive if you lose your health. Do what you gotta do to stay or get healthy. It’s a priority.

Dr. Carolyn Leaf in her article Toxic Thoughts states “Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness; we make ourselves sick! Research shows that fear, all on its own, triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones. There are INTELLECTUAL and MEDICAL reasons to FORGIVE! Toxic waste generated by toxic thoughts causes the following illnesses: diabetes, cancer, asthma, skin problems, and allergies to name just a few”.

Daily Wellness Journal: A Physical Self Care PlannerTrigger Point Self-Care Manual: For Pain-Free MovementFat for Fuel: A Revolutionary Diet to Combat Cancer, Boost Brain Power, and Increase Your Energy


#4 Emotional Self Care

Did I mention that commitment to breathing yet? Okay, keep that going.

If you are dealing with sudden, severe loss, rejection, and/or betrayal you’re going to need support. And you’re going to need to be very patient with yourself. Additionally, you need to stay away from those that want to heap more pain or rejection on you. Additionally, those that want to judge your grieving.

Anyone that is set on making sure you see believe this is your fault needs to be avoided. You need to treat yourself with kid gloves right now and that involves allowing yourself to self-protect.

This is one aspect that will give you a sense of safety as you pursue healing. Check my review on *Boundaries for more tips on self-protecting.

The Onward Workbook: Daily Activities to Cultivate Your Emotional Resilience and ThriveThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of TraumaHealing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame


#5 Spiritual Self-Care, Essential to Overcoming

Immerse yourself in the Psalms. Indeed, cry, beseech your Creator for His will and direction. Rest in Him over and over.

This is a fundamental and important element to thrive, absolutely essential to overcoming. Put the time into resting and getting intimate with God.

Read Lisa Terkuest‘s book *Uninvited. It is not heavy reading. But it is deep and encouraging and she will hold your hand and remind you to keep breathing while guiding you to being an overcomer.

Another easy, but incredibly helpful read during a time when it is hard to even think clearly is Tricia Martin‘s The Intimate God.

Lysa Terkeurst – Uninvited Study Set (Book + Study Guide)The Intimate GodFour Gifts: Seeking Self-care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and StrengthDesiring God’s Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (The Spiritual Journey)It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered


#6 Sleep, Essential to Thriving

At the darkest hour of my personal story, I went through severe insomnia. I could not think clearly, I could not function, and I was useless to myself and others.

Figuring this out was an essential element in learning to thrive. Others may react by sleeping too much.

But sleep you must. Get help, from the doctor, a naturopath, whatever it takes. Sleep is essential to overcome. Don’t think you can get by without it. That will only make things worse.

Moreover, there are quite a few things that can help you get the essential sleep essential you so desperately need.

A *Luxury Mask, that is so easy and comfortable to wear, you can even open your eyes – no eyelash damage 😉

Amber Light Bulbs, Bedroom Night Light BulbSleep Eye Mask, 3D Contoured Sleeping MaskBedtime Tea for Stress and Anxiety Relief


#7 Others in the Fallout Zone – Helping Them Overcome

Consequently, your spouse, your children, your friends, and whoever else was caught in the crossfire or sudden loss with you may need your support now.

This can feel like too much. However, you can use their need as one of your essentials to overcome.

How? Getting our minds and hearts off ourselves is one of the best ways to thrive.
Be motivated to set an example of being an overcomer!

#8 Boundaries – set them early

Soon, we’ll start talking about responsibilities and forgiveness. But first, you need to understand and erect some Boundaries.

You need them now more than ever. And embracing the concept of Boundaries will give you the knowledge to live in healthy relationships and possibly help you to not end up in a situation like your current one again.

Without a doubt, boundaries are essential to overcoming!

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your LifeBoundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest AlliesBoundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children


#9 Forgiveness is Everything

Please take a few minutes to read through my post on Biblical Forgiveness? and consider the concepts I explore there.

Whatever route forgiveness takes you, it won’t be easy. But it is a crucial aspect as you are recovering and choosing to live a bigger and better life than ever before.

As we strive to forgive and let go of any bitterness, we need to explore the issue from many angles.

Embodying Forgiveness: A Theological AnalysisTotal ForgivenessThe Cost of Discipleship


#10 / Repentance – Essential to Overcoming?

Additionally, and this is an area that many of us struggle with – it is easy to be overly hard on yourself regarding whatever your real or perceived error was. On the other hand, it is human nature to be unwilling due to your pain, to acknowledge your responsibility.

Neither of these reactions will help you in prevailing over the hurt. If you are obsessing about how you could have handled your situation differently or how messed up you are or whatever negative self-talk you are indulging in, you need to stop.

If God can forgive, you need to forgive yourself. After all, who knows better? You? Or God?

However, if the idea of accepting any responsibility is making you cringe, please take this with a grain of salt. I don’t know your situation. I only know that my own repentance for my flawed behavior has set me free.

On the outside, you can’t see much fruit from my repentance, I’m still rejected, still treated as . Notwithstanding, I have peace. Deep, deep peace. And the freedom that only can come from Above.

Repentance: The First Word of the GospelRepentance: The Meaning and Practice of TeshuvahWhat Is Repentance?


#11 Brain Care an Overlooked Essential to Overcoming

Take every thought captive! Remind yourself that your mind can control your brain. I struggle pretty severely with obsessive thinking. Every unfair, confusing, false, gossiping, betraying, cowardly word or action that came against my family and/or me has been on repeat in my brain for over a year.

Ugh, like, seriously if thinking about it one hundred times didn’t help, why would the hundred and first time do any good?

Switch On Your Brain Curriculum KitThe Women’s Brain Book: The neuroscience of health, hormones and happinessGenius Consciousness – Super Nootropic Brain Booster Supplement


Without a doubt, the most helpful remedy for my obsessive thought processes has been Dr. Carolyn Leaf’s book *Switch on Your Brain… I’ve listened to the audio version twice, read the book, and completed the workbook. Additionally, I am currently using her 2 Neurocycle program.

#12 Be a Girly Girl or Go All Natural

In spite of what has happened, that is to because of what has happened – it is time to embrace a new you!

Rejection and betrayal are powerful blows to our confidence and self-esteem.

Consequently, it is time to love a new you. Be a new you.

For me, rejection gave me the freedom to stop caring about what others thought I should be, and become who I really am.

I had never really learned how to use properly. Breaking away from an opinionated group of women on the subject turned into a lovely area of freedom for me.

Self-care and overcoming are essential which gave me confidence and a creative outlet. and a boost to my confidence 🙂

Face with a Heart: Mastering Authentic Makeupjane iredale Pure & Simple Makeup Kit, MediumNatural Mineral Kit – No.3 St. Tropez


#13 Exercise & Eat Clean, Essentials to Overcoming

Yeah, I know, we all know movement and nutrition are of utmost importance. But how the heck do you make yourself accomplish these essentials to overcome when getting out of bed takes everything you’ve got? See #14

The 7-Minute Body Plan: Real Results in 7 Days Quick WorkoutsEating Clean: Budget-Friendly Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Recipes28 Days of Clean Eating: The Healthy Way to Kick Dieting Forever


#14 Self-Discipline is Learnable!
Who knew?

Well, not me anyway! In truth, I run very low in self-efficacy – I have spent most of my life doubting myself and my abilities. I don’t believe I can, therefore I fail and prove myself correct. Again and again and again. Ugh.

Enter, my pal (okay, I don’t actually know him) Martin Meadows. Meadows has a whole cast of short books on the subject of self-discipline (click to read my review) filled with insight and wisdom. He will convince you that not only can you do it (whatever it is) but you will do it!

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There are many other great books on self-discipline and habits available, but Meadow’s books are quick, easy to digest, and just make sense! There is no magic pill – but there are smart hacks.

Simple Self-Discipline Box SetThe Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control WorkThe Self-Discipline Blueprint


#15 Embracing Change to Overcome Rejection

Thus, the changes that come through trauma, rejection, and/or betrayal are hard-won changes.

In most cases, these changes will free you from the toxic relationship(s) you have been enmeshed in. This freedom opens the door to a whole new life. The life you were meant to live. The you that you are meant to be.

Rather than staying stuck in a pit, embrace this change as not just a ladder out of the shock and pain, but a golden ladder out of the bigger picture, where life was broken already, but maybe you didn’t realize to what degree or simply did not know how to repair it. Maybe your loyalty or humility kept you in a negative situation.

Embrace the change! What you are going through has unlocked a door that needed to be opened.

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change,Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and LifeElastic: Unlocking Your Brain’s Ability to Embrace Change


#16 Live the New You – The Overcomer You!

Of course, you will walk through that door with your head held high!

This is your life and no one else’s.

Praise God for releasing you from situations and relationships you were no longer meant to be in.

Make and hold dear your *Boundaries!

#17 Thrive and Be Blessed

In conclusion, living free of toxicity, thriving in who you are – no longer living to please others is blessing.

Fully enjoy being you! You’re learning, you’re growing and stretching. Maturing and gaining wisdom. Feeling less judgemental of others.

You may be here already and if not, you will be one day not so far away. A day when you will truly know and believe that indeed, you are Blessed to be Rejected.

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