You are choosing to proactively begin processing your pain and thoughts in hopes of getting past the shock of sudden and unexplained rejection. This is a starting point to Overcome Rejection.
Moreover, you are ready to figure out how to move onto overcoming rejection.
The bitterness blooming in your heart and the confusion over your sudden shunning scare you. You are not alone. You can easily fall into extreme bitterness when rejected by people you love and trust.
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Whether you were expecting the rejection; or it came as a total surprise; the initial shock and pain are OVERWHELMING. EXCRUCIATING. INTOLERABLE.
During that initial period of overwhelming loss and hurt; through the use of Fire and Mason jars, you can begin to undertake the task of sorting through the myriad of confusion. You can begin overcoming the pain of rejection.
Here’s how I began to overcome rejection: I took my favorite copper bowl, a lighter and two half-gallon mason jars.
I labeled the jars – one as “Good things to hold on to…” and the other “Lessons Learned”.
Set up your “Grief & Rejection” station with the jars, index cards, (or click here for free printable created for this project), a pen, a beautiful copper bowl and a lighter somewhere calming, like a back patio table, a balcony, your gazebo, somewhere semi-private and lovely.
You may end up spending hours here – crying and praying and writing thoughts and hurts and memories on the cards.
Into the “Good Memories to Hold Onto” Jar goes:
The things you refuse to let rejection steal from you, the elements worth remembering. To Overcome Rejection – start with gratitude.
Here are some examples from my processing project (yours, of course, will be your own lovelies that no one can take away from you):
We served one another in practical ways.
I got to witness some of them learning to embrace their spiritual gifts with joy.
Jason wrote a beautiful Biblical song and served where he didn’t want to.
Richard contributed to worship time with percussion skills and always brought a unique perspective to any discussion.
Rita chose a quiet love for me during the shunning.
A few times I saw Lana take a bold stand for Messiah. She was willing to reach out to others in practical helpful ways. Over the years we had amazing conversations and learned so much together.
Kyle exhibited a heart to grow deeper.
Alice embraced a vision for more.
Mark showed soft wisdom.
Janice shared love in practical service-oriented ways.
Sharon is a great hostess, a wonderful cook and potlucks were especially enjoyable when she contributed. And when you are on her good side, she really makes one feel special.
Hugh and Connie were incredibly generous with their treasure and enabled us to experience grand adventures and joyful memories.
Into the “Lessons Learned” jar goes:
These are hard to admit things, the things you could have done better or different, the warning signs you now wish you had given heed to, etc:
Groups need accountability, structure, rules, and leadership from the beginning.
My Hubby and I had overstepped boundaries.
I showed a lack of love, kindness, and gentleness in confronting hard issues.
I repented of self-righteousness.
Toxic relationships need to be removed sooner rather than later.
We must follow YHVH even when it will strain relationships or cause pain.
Love them in their anger.
Avoid people who have abused and controlled you.
Forgive = letting them off the hook and canceling the debt they owe us.
Forgiveness ends the wish for repayment.
We can’t demand their regret or willingness to reconcile, we have to cut them loose. And this heart set is key to overcome rejection.
And what gets burnt in the Copper bowl? Overcome Rejection Now
Pain, lots of pain. And regrets, ugliness, a plethora of bitterness, hurt, anger over the meanness and betrayal of it all.
You may sit here day after day, for several weeks burning index cards and letting go of the name-calling, lies, gossip, irrational attacks, lack of love, lack of grace, lack of communication.
I wrote out and burned my hurt over knowing they continue to gossip about us but refused to talk to us – and there was absolutely nothing I can do about it…
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If you happen to have a fire pit, this would be lovely to use instead of a copper bowl – however, the bowl is always waiting and ready for you.
Will this burn all your grief stay away? Will you completely overcome rejection? No. But this process will help you with the absolute soul-crushing effects of rejection.
You will begin to breathe again and move on to the grieving part of overcoming rejection.
I highly recommend this project to begin to overcome rejection, particularly if you are in the stunned, ‘you can’t even believe this is actually happening’ phase.
*names have been changed for privacy
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