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Do Rejection and Betrayal Cause Grief?

Grief & Rejection

Please visit Lessons from Home to read more. Thank you Heather for this guest post opportunity. Do rejection and betrayal cause grief? I originally wrote this article during the time in my life where the betrayal and rejection of close friends was one of the most painful things I had ever endured.

Now, I am a griever of a different kind, having lost my beloved firstborn child, my amazing daughter Brittany.

Missing you. I miss little you. I miss big you. I miss past you, I miss future you. I miss family moments with you. I miss quiet moments with you.

I miss you profoundly. I miss the me I was before I lost you.

One of my daughters wrote this beautiful tribute:

“It’s almost been a year since Brittany died. She’s all I think about some days. Lauren and I came up with some simple ways that anyone can honor Brittany’s memory and keep her close in our lives.

-Plant roses

-Bake cookies & decorate them

-Wear Pink or Green

-Visit Brittany’s grave

-Run up and down a flight of stairs ten times

-Go to the gym

-Give 100% at work or school

-Support a local, family owned or woman owned business

-Wake up at 5am

-Drink: root beer, hot cocoa with a candy cane, a peppermint white chocolate mocha, Dutch Bros

-Spend some quality time with each of your kids

-Get your nails done

-Wear heels

-Dress up

-Journal

-Schedule a family/couple photo shoot

-Read Jane Austen

-Write out 10 things you’re grateful for

-Watch: Gilmore Girls, How I Met Your Mother, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Devil Wears Prada, Miss Congeniality

-Clean out your closet and donate to charity

-Complain about the animals in your life

-Get your oil changed

-Write with your left hand

-Encourage and empower someone in your life

-Eat: cheesecake, pancakes with lemon curd, tortilla soup — or eat super duper healthy for a day

-Write your will and an advanced directive—it will make things easier for your family

-Shop for new clothes

-Light a candle

-Share a memory or photo of Brittany on social media

-Write out affirmations

-Find quote and make it your mantra

-Read a self development book or listen to a self development podcast

-Do something patriotic: sign a petition, register to vote, donate to a campaign you believe in.

-Volunteer or donate to a local charity

-Take your vitamins

-Buy a car

-Sell a car

-Listen to country music

-Go to church and sing a hymn

-Believe in yourself, because Brittany sure believed in you.

-Tell them you love them, that you’re proud of them and tell them all. Often. There is no guarantee you’ll have a chance to say it again.”

Rejection and Betrayal Hurt

The profound devastation of losing a child makes rejection and betrayal pale in contrast.

However, this does not take away from Heather’s wisdom in acknowledging, that while our grief is on an entirely different level, trouble of all sorts is painful. I think I can safely speak for both of us when I say that we would never wish our grief on our worst enemy. Certainly, we would never wish rejection and betrayal on another human being either.

Comparing Grief is NOT Helpful – Rejection and Betrayal are Devastating

“People often have trouble telling me about their own hurts because they know what I’ve gone through with losing a child. I don’t want this to ever be the case. Grief is a strong emotion as a result of various painful experiences including rejection and betrayal.”

Lessons from Home

As we move along life’s track, we meet many wounded souls, let us never concern ourselves with deciding whose journey is more difficult. That, my friends, is a waste of time.

Rejection and betrayal are heavy, heavy burdens to bare. But you can overcome! You can heal and grow from this traumatic experience.

For more on Rejection.

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