Tools for Walking Through Fire with Loved Ones
Tool #1 Be There, Be Present, Sit Shiva
The concept of sitting Shiva is a beautiful tradition within the Jewish faith. Your family and friends come along beside you and sit with you. Be with you to mourn the loss of your loved one. The normal grieving process takes many people about a year.
“We are not alone.” This is the fundamental message of Judaism about death and bereavement.Shiva.com
While rejection and betrayal do not hold the finality and pain of death, they do inflict a profound loss. Theirs is an injury that needs to be mourned. Grieving loss helps with processing the pain. Encouraging and supporting the hurting and broken to acknowledge their loss or end of a significant relationship is helpful. Often with betrayal and rejection, we are so profoundly stung that the loss of the person(s) is the last thing we are able to process.
Even with the anger, shock, bewilderment and possibly shame the hurting and broken are feeling, the bottom line is the loss. That person(s) is no longer who the hurting and broken thought they were, The betrayer is either gone from their life or occupying a new untrustworthy space.
Tool #2 Acceptance is Supporting the Hurting & Broken
” Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Messiah.”Galations 6:2
Encouraging and supporting the hurting and broken-hearted starts with loving and accepting them regardless of the reaction to their situation is a gift you can give
This is a powerful teaching that sadness has to offer us–the ability to surrender, and the acceptance of change go hand in hand.
Allowing and encouraging the hurting to process their intense pain is needed. We never want to hear this during these times, but it is necessary for overcoming. Being reminded that you are strong enough to bear your trial may not be received well, but usually plants a seed of hope in the heart.
Tool #3 Believe They Will Overcome
Supporting the hurting and broken includes gentle reminders that they will come out on the other side stronger. But never pushing them to get there quickly. Allowing individuals to process at their own pace is support in it’s kindest form.
It takes a brave hurting and broken soul to face their pain head-on. Courage to process instead of run, hide or cover it up. The rejected and betrayed need permission from self and sometimes loved ones to embrace their pain and experience altogether. This is where healthy healing can begin.
Just as we want others to encourage and believe in us, we need to likewise work at supporting the hurting and broken. Know and let them know they will overcome and thrive again, better than ever!
Our Joy for Supporting the Hurting and Broken
“Helping fellow believers carry the weight of their worldly troubles is one of the chief practical duties that ought to consume every Christian.”John MacArthur
When we take the time to:
- Be there, be present and sit with the hurting
- Give full acceptance to the broken
- Believe they will overcome and thrive
Then, we too grow and mature. We gain blessings in supporting the hurting and broken. Benefits born of exercising compassion and empathy. Not demanding our way.
When we take our own experience of bearing pain and support our fellow men, we have come full circle and the pain bears fruit.