Learn Self-Protection for Women and How to NOT be a Victim
Self-protection for women is your right. The key to being on the defense is to put yourself on the offense. How do you do that? First I want to share a story, and then we will work through a few general guidelines.
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She had gotten her dream job. After years of toiling away as a menial office worker, Mia had just landed a job as an administrative assistant at a radio station for the entire sales staff. She was being given a huge amount of responsibility and was excited about being in the world of radio.
Carlos was a sales associate who was well known as a ladies man. He flirted with everyone – especially the new girls. At first, Mia didn’t mind the attention. Carlos was a nice guy and quite handsome. She enjoyed flirting. But then it went a step further.
Carlos began touching her in ways she didn’t like. She was young – only 21 – and this was the career she always wanted, so she didn’t know what to do. One late night, they were both in the office. Carlos approached her desk and started with his standard lines. Mia tried to be nice and brush him off gently, but Carlos was relentless.
His touches turned into gropes, his gropes turned into invasive sexual advances. Before she knew it, he was raping her and she was powerless to stop him. The next day, he acted like nothing had happened, but Mia was devastated. She had been violated and her mind was a blur of pain.
Mia took her own life two days later. In her suicide note, she told her mother she wished she had been strong enough to fight back.
These stories, while shocking and sad, are true and they happen all the time. There are hundreds more out there just like them. The one common thread woven through them all is the woman’s feeling of powerlessness. All of these women wanted to resist, but they didn’t know how. Would you know how?
Self-Protection for Women
What exactly do we mean by protecting yourself defensively?
Self-defense training helps with everyday assertiveness and boundary setting as well as preparing you to fight back in physical attacks – in teaching self-protection I concentrate on giving ourselves the time to get-away. To that end, we can use our voices and tools to disable our assailant.
Women’s self-defense and protection training incorporates an understanding of the kinds of violence most often experienced by women and the common social and psychological barriers women face in learning to fight back and use equipment and weapons to protect themselves.
Women learning self-protection gain both muscle memory and verbal defense skills and the will to use them against an attacker. Self-protection for women is satisfying and provides a peace of mind that few of us have.
“The fighting effectiveness against violent crime, especially sexual assault, varies depending upon your objective, lifestyle, beliefs, likes, and dislikes.”Model Mugging
Self-defense classes also give women a rare opportunity to explore the broad spectrum of emotions that often arise when we start to understand the level of violence in our society. It is an excellent vehicle for exploring anger, grief, and fear, and for tapping into the joy that comes from finding your voice and discovering your own internal power.
Self-protection for women is much more than fighting back against your attacker. – in fact, I believe our goal at all times should be to get away and get safe. Not to win.
In addition, it is knowing what to say, how to think, and how NOT to put yourself in danger.
The first rule in self-protection for women is to not put yourself into a situation that would put you in danger. How do you do that? The easy answer is in many, many ways. They might seem like common sense, but so many women ignore this basic piece of advice. So, I think it needs to be stressed.
Self Protection for Women can Seem Unfair
Why should we have to change what we do or where we go? Well, the truth is we shouldn’t have to. In a perfect world. But, given that we occupy a highly imperfect world, lets first embrace self-protection. Then we can work on making the world a more fair place.
Ideas to Not Become a Victim
First and foremost, stay aware of people in your surroundings. Not surprisingly, criminals exhibit predatory behavior in preparing to attack. They will try to pick a casual location to look for their prey. Would-be assailants will look at their intended victim far more and for longer periods of time than social norms. They will move when the prey moves.
Criminals will stop and look around for witnesses. Attackers will often make several passes by the intended victim in a sort of ‘dry run’, seeing if the victim will react or to get a sense of how the attack might work. Self=protection for women means we pay attention! Who is looking at you? Has the same person or car passed by you twice? Does someone appear to be moving with you?
If you find yourself in this type of situation, simply change your route but also be prepared to run or defend yourself. If you do have to run, run towards people. Surround yourself with as many people as you can so get to a crowded place like a mall or a store as soon as you possibly can.
Do not wear conspicuous jewelry or clothing while walking on the street. This brings attention to you and opens yourself up to an attack. If you are wearing expensive jewelry, take measures to cover it up. Flashing a huge diamond or expensive earrings is just an invitation for a robber to mug you and take that jewelry.
Self Protection for women demands self-awareness
Do not act like an easy target. Walk with confidence and purpose. If an attacker sees you walking like you have no particular place to go, they are more likely to tag you as easy prey. Walking with your head down, or engaged with your phone also makes you a target. Try to exhibit a smooth gait while walking.
If a stranger approaches you, maintain eye contact with them as you keep on walking. Let them know you see them – you can identify them. Most fights are won before they start. Many aggressors will back down if you convey the message that they do not intimidate you. Be strong and confident even when you don’t feel it.
Do not ever let yourself be taken somewhere. Police call it a “secondary crime scene” and it’s where you will likely experience your worst nightmare. Never, ever get into a vehicle with someone and never put yourself in a place where you are alone or where there are no people around. This can be extremely difficult to do if threatened – but decide now to fight for your freedom.
We don’t know if anyone will come to our aid; self-protection for women is key.
An attacker’s worst fear is getting caught. If you find yourself in an attempted abduction, drop to the ground to prevent him from carrying you. Draw attention to yourself and your situation. Don’t give an inch.
Attract attention from anyone you can. The first thing he will say to you is “don’t scream or I’ll kill you”. He’s telling you exactly what will ruin his plan. Go ahead, ruin his plan — create a disturbance, scream, throw things, blow the horn. If you think you should yell “fire” go right ahead. You can’t count on others coming to your aid, but you want to appeal to his fear of getting caught and make him think that someone could hear you and be coming.
I also, advocate singing. That’s right – sing. Sing anything and sing it at the top of your lungs. We especially like “The Star-Spangled Banner” because if people see or hear you in the middle of a street singing the national anthem, they’ll look around to see who is crazy enough to be doing that. Plus, your attacker will not want this type of attention and he will most likely flee at the earliest possible moment.
Self Protection for Women Tips and Tricks
Keep a barrier between you and the bad guy. Use a barrier to block him or use distance to gain time. Keep your doors locked, and stay in your car. Force him to get through a barrier before he can get to you.
Use your strongest weapons against his weakest targets. His weakest targets are those that are most valuable, yet ironically, cannot be entirely strengthened. His eyes, throat, groin, and knees are your primary targets. Your secondary targets are his face and his abdomen.
Strong weapons that you can employ are your kicks using the bottom of your feet, your elbows, fists, and palm-heel strikes. Even better is to equip yourself now with some layered protection. Personally, I carry a Kubaton, a stun gun and the hottest pepper spray on the market.
In general, it’s always a good idea to fight back when you find yourself in an attack situation. Women who fight back are injured less often and are more successful in stopping the attack no matter what kind of attack it is. They generally feel less devastated afterward also.
Embrace Self-Protection for Women Today
Women who’ve never been in a situation where they wanted to fight often think that they couldn’t fight, it is a decision that you must make today. Then you will be prepared to do so if you are confronted with the need. You may find, if you’re faced with a life or death situation, that it’s very easy to fight.
But you need to know you will fight and how you will fight back in order for that instinct to be effective. You need to break through that emotional barrier you’ve instilled and be confident that you have the ability to protect yourself.
It’s not necessary to take years of training in order to become effective in self-protection or in order to develop a personal protection plan that works for you. In a couple of hours or a few days, you can become proficient in a number of different techniques and learn something about how you apply them. Self-protection for women may save your life or the life of a loved one.
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